{"product_id":"calm-your-tits-shirt","title":"Calm Your Tits Retro Slogan Tee","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"Calm Your Tits\" graphic tee with retro mid-century typography and hot pink sparkle stars, printed on a Bella+Canvas unisex tee, 100% cotton (no poly), true to size, size-inclusive. Made to order, DTG printed.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe phrase someone needed to hear. The shirt that says it for you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCream lettering, hot pink sparkle stars, mid-century type that looks like it belongs on a cocktail napkin from 1958 — delivered with the grace of someone who is absolutely done.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"Calm Your Tits\" has always been the right call. The mid-century retro typography and pink sparkle accents make it look like a very cheerful, very firm suggestion — the visual equivalent of saying something devastating with a smile. It's not a protest shirt. It's not a manifesto. It's just the most efficient sentence in the English language, dressed up like it belongs on a Vegas marquee.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You'll Love It\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e- Cream off-white retro lettering with hot pink sparkle stars — the typography has the nerve to be charming about it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e- Mid-century graphic style that makes 'calm your tits' look like it was always meant to be said this nicely\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e- The slogan does the heavy lifting so you don't have to — wear it to brunch, wear it to the thing you didn't want to go to, wear it everywhere\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWho It's For\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor the woman who has given one too many calm, measured responses and is officially out of them. Wears great on its own for a grocery run, a concert, a bad family dinner, or literally any occasion where someone nearby needs a non-verbal heads-up. Also an excellent gift — for the friend who keeps the group chat sane, the sister who has heard it all, the coworker whose face you've seen go very still during a meeting. Year-round, no occasion required, zero explanation needed.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMood: Unbothered. Sparkling. 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