{"product_id":"go-touch-grass-gamer-tee","title":"Go Touch Grass Gamer Tee","description":"A deadpan gamer insult tee with \"Go Touch Grass.\" printed in glitchy arcade minimalist typography on a 100% combed ring-spun cotton unisex tee, pre-shrunk, true to size. Made to order, DTG printed.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe console has spoken.\u003cbr\u003e\n\"Go Touch Grass.\" — delivered in glitchy arcade font, no inflection, no apology, full stop.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe phrase is already perfect. It doesn't need help. What it needs is a font that looks like it was generated by something that has been staring at a screen longer than you have — and that's exactly what this is. Minimalist deadpan typography in a glitchy arcade style means the whole joke lands before anyone finishes reading the shirt. The period does the heavy lifting.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWhy You'll Love It\u003cbr\u003e\n- \"Go Touch Grass.\" in glitchy arcade font — the period alone carries more contempt than a full paragraph could\u003cbr\u003e\n- Wears as both the insult and the badge: put it on to roast someone or to announce that you are, in fact, the person being roasted\u003cbr\u003e\n- Available in core black and white, with an optional glitch neon variant for anyone whose energy reads more corrupted-save-file than void\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFit \u0026amp; Fabric\u003cbr\u003e\n- 100% combed ring-spun cotton, pre-shrunk — no poly, no heather blends\u003cbr\u003e\n- Classic unisex fit, true to size — size down for a more fitted look\u003cbr\u003e\n- Lightweight at 4.2 oz, which holds up whether you're in a gaming chair or, against all odds, outside\u003cbr\u003e\n- Size-inclusive: every size is the same price, no upcharge for larger sizes\u003cbr\u003e\n- Made to order, DTG printed\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWho It's For\u003cbr\u003e\nGamers, sarcastic players, and anyone who has ever received this note from a concerned third party and taken it as a compliment. Wear it to a LAN party, a convention, a Discord meetup that moved IRL against everyone's better judgment, or a random Tuesday when you just want your shirt to handle the social commentary for you. It's a genuinely good gamer gift — the kind that lands because the recipient absolutely knows the insult and will immediately put it on.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCare\u003cbr\u003e\nMachine wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low. Don't iron directly on the print.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nMood: Deadpan. Pixelated. Entirely unrepentant.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nListing copy written with AI assistance.","brand":"MindPop Threads","offers":[{"title":"Vintage Black \/ XS","offer_id":53326869889391,"sku":"3336052_21593","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage Black \/ S","offer_id":53326869922159,"sku":"3336052_21594","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage Black \/ M","offer_id":53326869954927,"sku":"3336052_21595","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage Black \/ L","offer_id":53326869987695,"sku":"3336052_21596","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage Black \/ XL","offer_id":53326870020463,"sku":"3336052_21597","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326870053231,"sku":"3336052_21598","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Purple \/ XS","offer_id":53326870085999,"sku":"3336052_9557","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Purple \/ S","offer_id":53326870118767,"sku":"3336052_4166","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Purple \/ M","offer_id":53326870151535,"sku":"3336052_4167","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Purple \/ L","offer_id":53326870184303,"sku":"3336052_4168","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Purple \/ XL","offer_id":53326870217071,"sku":"3336052_4169","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Purple \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326870249839,"sku":"3336052_4170","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Purple \/ 3XL","offer_id":53326870282607,"sku":"3336052_21456","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Team Purple \/ 4XL","offer_id":53326870315375,"sku":"3336052_21457","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ XS","offer_id":53326870348143,"sku":"3336052_9552","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S","offer_id":53326870380911,"sku":"3336052_4141","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ M","offer_id":53326870413679,"sku":"3336052_4142","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ L","offer_id":53326870446447,"sku":"3336052_4143","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ XL","offer_id":53326870479215,"sku":"3336052_4144","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326870511983,"sku":"3336052_4145","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":53326870544751,"sku":"3336052_5304","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 4XL","offer_id":53326870577519,"sku":"3336052_5319","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 5XL","offer_id":53326870610287,"sku":"3336052_12877","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Royal \/ S","offer_id":53326870643055,"sku":"3336052_4171","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Royal \/ M","offer_id":53326870675823,"sku":"3336052_4172","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Royal \/ L","offer_id":53326870708591,"sku":"3336052_4173","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Royal \/ XL","offer_id":53326870741359,"sku":"3336052_4174","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326870774127,"sku":"3336052_4175","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":53326870806895,"sku":"3336052_5307","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Royal \/ 4XL","offer_id":53326870839663,"sku":"3336052_5322","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ S","offer_id":53326870872431,"sku":"3336052_4041","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ M","offer_id":53326870905199,"sku":"3336052_4042","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ L","offer_id":53326870937967,"sku":"3336052_4043","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ XL","offer_id":53326870970735,"sku":"3336052_4044","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326871003503,"sku":"3336052_4045","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ 3XL","offer_id":53326871036271,"sku":"3336052_5298","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ 4XL","offer_id":53326871069039,"sku":"3336052_5313","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ S","offer_id":53326871101807,"sku":"3336052_4031","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ M","offer_id":53326871134575,"sku":"3336052_4032","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ L","offer_id":53326871167343,"sku":"3336052_4033","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ XL","offer_id":53326871200111,"sku":"3336052_4034","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326871232879,"sku":"3336052_4035","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ 3XL","offer_id":53326871265647,"sku":"3336052_5297","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ 4XL","offer_id":53326871298415,"sku":"3336052_5312","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Aqua \/ S","offer_id":53326871331183,"sku":"3336052_4021","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Aqua \/ M","offer_id":53326871363951,"sku":"3336052_4022","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Aqua \/ L","offer_id":53326871396719,"sku":"3336052_4023","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Aqua \/ XL","offer_id":53326871429487,"sku":"3336052_4024","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Aqua \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326871462255,"sku":"3336052_4025","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Aqua \/ 3XL","offer_id":53326871495023,"sku":"3336052_5296","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Aqua \/ 4XL","offer_id":53326871527791,"sku":"3336052_5311","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Kelly \/ XS","offer_id":53326871560559,"sku":"3336052_9541","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Kelly \/ S","offer_id":53326871593327,"sku":"3336052_4086","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Kelly \/ M","offer_id":53326871626095,"sku":"3336052_4087","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Kelly \/ L","offer_id":53326871658863,"sku":"3336052_4088","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Kelly \/ XL","offer_id":53326871691631,"sku":"3336052_4089","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Kelly \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326871724399,"sku":"3336052_4090","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Kelly \/ 3XL","offer_id":53326871757167,"sku":"3336052_5300","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Kelly \/ 4XL","offer_id":53326871789935,"sku":"3336052_5315","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ XS","offer_id":53326871822703,"sku":"3336052_21569","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ S","offer_id":53326871855471,"sku":"3336052_21570","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ M","offer_id":53326871888239,"sku":"3336052_21571","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ L","offer_id":53326871921007,"sku":"3336052_21572","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ XL","offer_id":53326871953775,"sku":"3336052_21573","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Charity Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326871986543,"sku":"3336052_21574","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Burnt Orange \/ XS","offer_id":53326872019311,"sku":"3336052_9534","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Burnt Orange \/ S","offer_id":53326872052079,"sku":"3336052_4051","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Burnt Orange \/ M","offer_id":53326872084847,"sku":"3336052_4052","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Burnt Orange \/ L","offer_id":53326872117615,"sku":"3336052_4053","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Burnt Orange \/ XL","offer_id":53326872150383,"sku":"3336052_4054","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Burnt Orange \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326872183151,"sku":"3336052_4055","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ S","offer_id":53326872215919,"sku":"3336052_4181","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ M","offer_id":53326872248687,"sku":"3336052_4182","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ L","offer_id":53326872281455,"sku":"3336052_4183","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ XL","offer_id":53326872314223,"sku":"3336052_4184","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326872346991,"sku":"3336052_4185","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 3XL","offer_id":53326872379759,"sku":"3336052_5308","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow \/ 4XL","offer_id":53326872412527,"sku":"3336052_5323","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Silver \/ S","offer_id":53326872445295,"sku":"3336052_4146","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Silver \/ M","offer_id":53326872478063,"sku":"3336052_4147","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Silver \/ L","offer_id":53326872510831,"sku":"3336052_4148","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Silver \/ XL","offer_id":53326872543599,"sku":"3336052_4149","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Silver \/ 2XL","offer_id":53326872576367,"sku":"3336052_4150","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0917\/5852\/6831\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-vintage-black-front-6a8284ea8f50f.jpg?v=1786938628","url":"https:\/\/mindpopthreads.com\/products\/go-touch-grass-gamer-tee","provider":"MindPop Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}