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just dropped
THE snark tank
Shop All
Because We Know You’re Too Busy to Browse by Category
Life’s short, and your attention span isn’t getting any longer. So here’s everything—retro kicks, V-necks with attitude, and Gen X gold—served with a side of snark. Scroll like it’s 1999 and you’re waiting for Napster to load. We won’t judge… much.
SHOP BY CATAGORY
If aimless scrolling isn’t your thing, we’ve got you covered. Browse by category and jump straight to what you want—whether it’s retro sneakers, V-necks with attitude, or Gen X throwbacks that prove you survived the ‘80s and ‘90s. No fluff, no distractions—just the good stuff, neatly organized so you can pretend you’ve got your life together.
THE SUMMERING
When nature turns against humanity, the least you can do is fight back with a killer wardrobe. Whether it’s scorching heat, relentless mosquitoes, or tourists who walk too slow, survival requires one thing—snark. Stay cool, stay stylish, and most importantly, stay sarcastic.
Distorted & Disorderly
Grim & Grin
Soul’d Out
The Gen-X files:
Language Arts
Too young for Woodstock, too old for Snapchat, and just jaded enough to remember when “offline” wasn’t a choice—it was the default. We, the Latchkey Kids, grew up on sarcasm, TV dinners, and life advice like, “Walk it off.”
But our real education? Language arts—served daily through sitcom catchphrases, street slang, and whatever weird idioms our town thought made sense. From “Total Betty” to “whatever, dude,” we speak fluent Colloquial.
Welcome to the generation that survived dial-up, grunge, and life without participation trophies. No whining. No avocado toast. Just culturally fluent, smart-ass style for those who didn’t need a “like” to know they were right.
Love & Hexes
Pause N’ effect
Gen Pop Rocks
Tanks, Vees, & She-ros
Fitted. Feminine. Fierce.
This section features our women’s cut shirts only—including two cult favorites:
Next Level Racerback Tanks: Slim-fit, soft, and perfect for arm-flexing or soul-searching.
Classic V-Necks: Flattering cut with just enough plunge to keep things interesting.
Both styles are fitted, fabulous, and unapologetically femme. If you’re looking for unisex fits, head back to the main cult.
Fur SUre
Highly Meditated
god save the snark
Gen X-Files
Say la Vees
cubical cronicals
Chiller Instinct
the nights are eerie, the spirits are lively, and the vibes are delightfully macabre. From the chills of Halloween to the vibrant traditions of Día de los Muertos, we celebrate all things spooky, spectral, and supernatural—because one night of hauntings just isn’t enough.
Sole Purpose
Lace up and let your feet do the talking. Our kicks collection is a tribute to Gen X’s finest—whether you were skating through life with a punk rock sneer, surviving Saturday detention with the Breakfast Club, or living in a world where Rainbow Brite and rebellion somehow coexisted. From high tops that scream No Gods, No Masters to low tops that whisper Save Ferris, every pair is a nod to the generation that mastered the art of "whatever."
Run, skate, stomp, or just stand there looking effortlessly cool—
your shoes, your rules.